


To Be Bat

by SuperSilverSpy



Series: Helping Boy Wonder- The Batman [1]
Category: DCU, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Depressed Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Whump, Dick Grayson is Batman, Dick Grayson is a good bro, Dick Grayson-centric, Drunk Dick Grayson, F/M, Good Older Sibling Dick Grayson, Hurt Dick Grayson, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, SilverGrayson, SuperSilverSpy, Tarantula Trauma, fic inspired, jason Todd is a good bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24330889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSilverSpy/pseuds/SuperSilverSpy
Summary: Do Not ReadIs Being Re-written
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Everybody else (mentioned), Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Series: Helping Boy Wonder- The Batman [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808638
Comments: 53
Kudos: 320





	1. Jay Is A Bat, Dick Is The Bat

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t plan this, and it’s mostly just a rant  
> Also, I’m not as familiar with Jason so if he’s a little OOC, let me know  
> Enjoy!

Jason didn’t have a lot of things. Most of which he didn’t want, tried to get, or was mad about. 

If there was one thing he did have though, that he- and most everyone else- would deny, it’d be a heart.

He’d say it’d been left behind when he died, or devoured by the pit. Then the red helmet would be the last thing you’d see before he put a bullet in your head.

Eventually, he’d cool down (Maybe), but everything was just too fresh. Just when things had gotten better, the ol’ bat died and sh** hit the fan. He should’ve expected it. Nothing good lasts forever. Of course, everything has a cycle, an order to it. Every bat was another’s replacement now and the mantles are practically free game.

Don’t even get him started on the golden boy. The guy just went on right ahead and took up the cowl. You can’t blame ‘im for wanting to have a little fun with it, that cowl could go to any bat, not just the squeaky clean ones. 

Point is, the Big Bad Red Hood isn’t completely _bad_ per se. At least he’s not emotionally constipated. He does have feelings other than things related to hurt and anger.

So when he came upon the Protégé of Justice and Good Things late one night and found the guy drunk, in civilian clothes, muttering to himself like a madman, and slumped dangerously close the the edge of a building- Jason didn't feel a lick of satisfaction (it’s true, he only felt two)- despite his estranged brother’s past errors and his own opinions. 

Plus, it helped that the rookie big Bat didn’t recognize him. He must’ve been really out of it. 

“...don’t know what I’m doing…Damian’s mad at me cause I suck...and then he ran away. I know nothing about parenting and I know he’s learning too but it’s just so _hard_...” He knew the demon brat was bad news, who’d have thought parenting would be a bad idea? This guy, common sense extraordinaire. The kid was raised to be a f***n’ _assassin_. A single bullet could fix the whole problem, but Dick’s always been _such_ a softie. Jason crouched down, snapping his fingers in front of the intoxicated vigilante- and got nary a reaction.

“Tim hates me a-and I don’t know where he is or if he’s even _okay_ , and it’s my own fault...I’m a terrible brother. Bruce is dead and he was my _dad_...my only family and the only one who c-could possibly understand... I just can’t believe he’s alive, you know? It would be like losing him all over again…” Jay wouldn’t disagree with any of that on a good day. Tim can take care of himself though, and at least the man is trying.

“Jason’s on rampage, I sh-should be checking on him right now, it would only make him hate me more...but that’s alright, cause I deserve it. I should’ve s-saved him, could’ve been better before he…before he…” well now this is just getting sappy, and dark. Darker than Jayson would like his big bother to be dealing with right now. He’d suspected Dick blamed himself for his death, and honestly he had too. Nope, he pushed the (nonexistent as far as he’s concerned) guilt, and other various sappy reactions down, down, down- and turned away. Knowing that if he looked, the drunk man-child would be crying, from those big, blue, _exaughsted_ \- nope. Don’t think about it.

“Babs is m-mad cause I didn’t get around to looking over that case…and people got hurt…Alfred is away grieving and I c-can’t even take care of myself, let alone everything else. The Justice League h-hates me cause I’m a terrible Batman…and I keep screwing up, I n-never even wanted the cowl!” The crash of shattered glass against the side of the building did _not_ startle Hood, _not at all_. If the big bird didn’t want the cowl in the first place- nope, Dickie needs his little bro right now, not a murderous crime lord. The cowl sounds like too much work anyway, and that bit about not taking care of himself…

“There w-was no one else… I couldn’t let Jay terrorize Gotham, and everyone else h-has abandoned me… WE is having problems that I d-don’t know how to fix, and I have a speech to make t-tomorrow that I haven’t even written yet...Lucious wants to talk to Tim...and he keeps saying my ideas are g-good...even when they’re so obviously not...” Screw WE and responsibility, Goldie needs a break- an un-intoxicated-and-depressive one.

“I c-can’t do anything right! I didn't realize it wasn't her... I- I- should've, she... she took advantage but l- Kori thought I cheated...and- and- maybe I did...but I don’t even h-have the Titans now… Young Justice are still upset about- about the invasion and I did all I could- but it just... it wasn't enough, it never is. They hate the c-cowl anyway and I'm so _a-ashamed_ of it- of what I've become. I said I didn't want to be Batman and I m- meant it, but I'm bec- coming more and m-more like him everyday." Saying Jason was 'shocked' would be in understatement. He just wanted his older brother to _shut up and stop talking_ , he didn't want to hear this, Dick would never purposely tell him.  
  
"I miss Wally and Roy _s-so much_ now. My life is a m-mess and I can’t s-sleep...shower...or even patrol in the r-rain...cause every time it reminds me of _her_... I shouldn’t h-have let her do it either, shouldn’t have l-let her kill Blockbuster too... Now Blüd, and Haly's and all th-those innocent people are g-gone and _it’s all my fault_... I just can’t- can’t- do this anymore!” The spec-f***ing-tacular amount of bombs he just dropped stun Jason for a moment- or more. Fortunately his reflexes are fast enough to grab the now falling Grayson. Preventing him from becoming a now apparently not-so-gold-plated pancake on the concrete below. 

“N-no! L-l-let me g-go! Why cann't I j-just die a- alreadyyy” His words slurring, the exhausted man looks at Jayson as he hauls him back onto the roof. (Dick's last sentence nearly made him drop the big bird) Settling the older awkwardly against himself.

“Shhhhh, d-d-donnn’t t-tell any- one-...I sss’pozed te be perf-fect”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED


	2. No One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick studied him, the younger’s expression unreadable. “I was...drunk. Last night.” He said slowly.
> 
> Jay chuckled, strained. He didn’t like the look in the anti-hero's eyes. “That’s one way of putting it.”
> 
> Tensing, Dick focused on his food in an effort to avoid the younger’s now searching gaze. “What did I say?”
> 
> “More like what didn’t you say” came the reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, you all wanted a sequel (even though this originally started out as a vent fic) so,  
> Enjoy!
> 
> (and don't forget to read the AN below, it's really important)

Dick woke to the smell of breakfast and coffee. Moving to sit up, he quickly laid back down as a terrible headache made itself known.

He groaned, feeling worse than he had in a long time.

“Yeah, Dickface. That’s on you and your sh**ty life choices.”

Looking up and blinking blearily, Dick grumbled “did I just say that outloud?”

Jason, totally not concerned ( _at all),_ waved a hand in front of Goldie’s face after setting down a steaming plate of bacon and eggs.

He slapped the hand away, “Jay? What’re you doing here?”

“Saving your a**, Goldie. What else would I be doing?” He said, shoving a cup of coffee in the older’s face.

Dick frowned, eyes clearing. Nothing like Jay’s acerbic bluntness to bring one back to the present. He took the offered cup, knowing it would help even as he grimaced at the bitter taste.

“What, not disgustingly sweet enough for you?”

The first Boy Wonder rolled his eyes, glancing around. He turned his gaze to the younger, expression serious as he faced him.

“Tell me what happened Jay”

Hood repressed a flinch, sighing. “What do you remember?”

Dick studied him, the younger’s expression unreadable. “I was...drunk. Last night.” He said slowly.

Jay chuckled, strained. He didn’t like the look in the anti-hero's eyes. “That’s one way of putting it.”

Tensing, Dick focused on his food in an effort to avoid the younger’s now searching gaze. “What did I say?”

“More like what _didn’t_ you say” came the reply.

The Golden Boy’s eyes widened. He sat up, wincing at the headache lancing through his skull. Crossed his arms. “Tell me what you know.”

“I know enough,” came the defensive answer, “to know that _you_ need a break, and parenting advice, and friends, and pretty much a crap ton of help in general, not to mention therapy. Lots and lots of therapy”

“Have you told anyone?”

Jason scoffed, “No.” Then, at the look of relief on the elder’s face, he tacked on “I should though, and I will if you don’t tell someone else, because just taking a wild guess here, but I’d say I’m the only one who knows, now.”

Dick flinched, avoiding his gaze, “Well what was I supposed to do?” oh how he hated how his voice cracked.

“I don’t know, tell someone?! Get help? You keep this up and you’ll end up breaking down, when you or anyone else, can’t afford it. I know you know that, so...why?” His finger was poking at Dick’s chest now, rage and something that was totally not concern burning in his Pit-green tinted orbs.

“I can’t-”

“You _can,”_ hissed his little brother, “what’s that you're always yapping about Goldie? ‘Talking helps’ you say, ‘you can tell me _anything’_ , ‘don’t keep it bottled up like that, it’s _unhealthy’_ and ‘It wasn’t your fault _.’”_

“But-”

“What makes _you_ the exception Dickface? You aren’t, and you can’t keep this up-”

“That’s the thing Jay! I _am_ the exception, I don’t have a choice! There’s no one I can tell, for all the friends I’ve made and teams I’ve lead- none of them actually stuck. The bridges have been burned, Jason; that’s on me. It’s all on me, and mine to deal with.”

The irony of it all. Even after last night, the second Robin still figured Dick would have at least _someone_ who could do this, who could help. Apparently not. The man was a legend, the pride and joy of the superhero community, the one with all the connections because he was the first. All the sidekicks came after him. _He_ practically raised them all.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have too many responsibilities to sit around waiting till I feel less like sh** and I really have to go.” Dick glanced up from his phone, which appeared to have materialized in his hand while Jason was thinking.

Sigh. “We’re not done with this conversation Goldie”

“Sorry Little Wing, crime never sleeps.”

He called out as the eldest stumbled through the door, “you know where to find me” _if you need it,_ was the silent add-on, _it’s the least I can do._

  
~~——————————————————~~   
  


Jason did some digging of course, how could he not? Dick’s little rant the night before had been long, filled with enough anguish to convince him it went deeper than just stress from being the bat. 

He found and dealt with several crime lords who’d been wreaking havoc in Gotham (with rubber bullets thank you very much). Sent a couple crazies to asylum as well. 

Tracked down Dick’s old YJ team, found out what happened and why they were mad at him.

Looked for a certain other Red vigilante who happened to be going through some very familiar replacement problems.

The Titans, JL, Demon Spawn, Roy, Tarantula…

Everyone was about to get a visit from the Red Hood (because no one hurts his brother and gets away with it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Dick just make excuses and run away from a difficult conversation because he didn't want to deal with it? Yes  
> Did Jason just decide to help him out with all his problems? Also yes  
> This is because I cannot write said difficult conversation when there are too many hurts that need explaining and comfort for. It got out of hand, and now this is a series... so yay!
> 
> I'm looking forward to writing all the interactions Dick has with others while being Batman, as well as Jason beating some sense into many of the ones who aren't helping.
> 
> There will be:  
> Jason-kills-Tarantula  
> Jason-Roy-Kori-and-Mirage-problem  
> Jason-gets-mad-at-YJ  
> Dick-working-with-the-league  
> Dick-and-Dami-relationship  
> Dick-and-Tim-work-things-out
> 
> I'm open to requests  
> But basically by the end of this,  
> I want everyone to be helping Dick  
> It will be a long, whumpy path to get there  
> Don't worry,  
> There will be a happy ending though  
> A Bruce-free ending
> 
> Because they don't need him to hold everything together,  
> They just need Dick


End file.
